


Banana Split

by RealityShowJunky



Series: Just Desserts [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, F/M, Frat Bro Sirius Black, Jealous Sirius Black, M/M, Multi, Playboy Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:46:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24706300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RealityShowJunky/pseuds/RealityShowJunky
Summary: A story in which college sweetheart Remus Lupin couldn’t shake off his not-really-boyfriend, rich frat boy Sirius Black, even if he wanted to.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Just Desserts [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1786135
Comments: 43
Kudos: 642
Collections: Wolfstar gems I would cough up





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is Chocolate Cake from Remus' POV. Enjoy!

“So I have to ask the question.”

“Go ahead.”

“Sirius Black—”

“Gesundheit.”

Benjy snorted and Remus couldn’t help but find it exceedingly charming. “My question is: should I expect Sirius Black to storm in here and try to beat the shit out of me?”

Remus averted his eyes and shrugged. “Why? Do you owe him money or something?”

“No but I _do_ have something of his and I have a feeling he’ll want it back.”

“Sirius isn’t my boyfriend and I am certainly not his property.” The matter of whether Remus _wanted to be_ was completely irrelevant. He added, “I wouldn’t be here with you if I had a boyfriend.”

“I know,” Benjy agreed hastily, “It’s just that I’ve seen you with him and I know how guys like Sirius are…”

“Yeah, well,” Remus shrugged with an air of nonchalance he did not feel, “Sirius dates other people— _a lot_ of other people. It’d be more than a little hypocritical for him to be mad at me for doing the same.”

“Yeah but—”

“Just to be clear,” Remus cut in sharply, “If I wanted to talk about Sirius, I’d _call_ Sirius. I’m here with you because I think you’re a cool guy and honestly? I’m done with hookups. I’m at a point where I want something...committed and substantial. My relationship with Sirius Black is neither of those things. Furthermore, if things _were_ to progress to that point with someone else, Sirius would definitely be out of the picture. So _please_ let’s stop talking about him.”

“Of course,” Benjy conceded, looking extremely pleased despite Remus’ annoyance.

Letting out a small sigh of relief, Remus began, “So you were telling me about that case at work? The one with...”

The words died off in his throat because in the brief millisecond he glanced away from Benjy, Remus found his gaze locked with that of Peter “Wormtail” Pettigrew, defensive linebacker for the Gryffindor Lions, Social Chair of Kappa Tau, and close personal friend of Sirius Black. He looked just as shocked as Remus felt, and broke contact only when the waitress called back his attention.

“...the single father,” Remus finished.

Benjy, however, didn’t seem to notice Remus’ mental lapse, and happily jumped into his story without pause.

\---

A couple of hours later found them parked in front of Remus’ apartment building. Remus debated inviting Benjy up for “coffee” since the date had gone very well (Sirius discussions aside) but ultimately decided against it. He wanted a relationship that wasn’t based around sex. It may be outmoded but he thought putting out on the first date would probably start his hunt off on the wrong foot.

Instead, he said, “ _Escape From Azkaban_ looks sick. We should see it next weekend.”

“That'd be great—“

Abruptly, the ring of Remus’ cell phone vibrated throughout the car. Remus glanced down to check the name, felt his cheeks flame, and silenced the call.

Benjy offered a wry grin. “Is it Sirius coming to collect?”

“I don’t know what Sirius is up to because I’m here with _you.”_ The word ‘you’ was undercut by the ring of a second phone call. Again, Remus hastily ignored it, then smiled extra-wide, knowing that his dimples were always his best means of distraction.

Naturally, Benjy leaned forward, eyes slightly glazed, and stopped a mere breath away from Remus’ face. “Can I kiss you?”

Remus answered by closing the distance himself. A few seconds later Benjy was moaning into his mouth and Remus was discovering that he much liked kissing him. His lips were a little chapped but his hands were gentle and—

_Ring… Ring… Ring…_

With a growl, Remus pulled away and stabbed the ‘decline’ button. He and Benjy stared at each other for a few quiet beats, both silently amazed that Sirius had managed to successfully kill the mood from whichever house-party in Malibu he happened to be at that night.

"I had a really great time," Remus eventually offered lamely.

The calls didn't stop until he reached his apartment (alone) but Remus still allowed himself to push the irritation aside and evaluate the date. The night went better than he had expected. Benjy was sweet and thoughtful, not careless, arrogant, or demanding. And he was cute in an Adrien Brody kind of way, not so handsome that he looked more like a Roman God than a college student. Not to mention, Benjy was funny without being so sharp-tongued that conversation felt like a ping-pong match.

Remus smiled to himself. His dating life did _not_ revolve around Sirius Black, regardless of what Benjy and Sirius himself seemed to think.

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

Remus almost tripped around the sweatpants he was trying to pull on. Heart hammering, he hastily finished dressing and ambled to the front door. " _Fuck_ ," he whispered to himself, knowing who it was without having to check the peephole.

Sure enough, on the other side of the door stood Sirius Black, tall and looming and furious. But—before Remus could offer a stuttering greeting—Sirius pulled him into a crushing kiss and Remus’ tension dissipated considerably. 

Sirius was just drunk and horny, as per usual.

Remus relaxed into the familiar embrace and even let out a pleased mew when Sirius began groping his backside. The thought that he should feel shame for letting Sirius have his way with him not half an hour after a date with another man crossed his mind; however, he batted it away with the fact that he was by far _not_ the biggest slut in the room.

Eventually, Sirius pulled away, looking a little disoriented. 

Remus smiled. _He_ did that. "Good evening to you too, sir."

And then Sirius' striking grey eyes narrowed into slits. He stormed through the door and seemed to reach the bedroom in two strides of his long legs. With a dramatic flair that made Remus want to laugh, he threw the door open. Visibly deflating, Sirius stomped over to the bathroom with the same determination only to achieve the same results.

Remus waited until Sirius was on his hands and knees checking under his bed to cut in. "Did you lose something?"

"Where did you go tonight?" Sirius demanded.

So Sirius did know. And he was angry like Benjy had predicted. But what was the point of coming over here if Remus might have someone over? Was...was Sirius looking for Benjy? Did he think Remus was hiding a boy under his bed like a guilty sixteen-year-old? Despite the circumstances, Remus found the image slightly hilarious. But what was Sirius going to do if he found him? _That_ thought was terrifying.

"Um, why?" was the only thing Remus could think of to reply.

“I called you." Sirius accused, "You didn’t answer.”

“Yeah, I was busy.”

“With Benjy Fenwick?”

“Yes, actually,” Remus replied tightly. How’d Sirius even know Benjy’s name? “How’d you know?” 

“I have my sources,” Sirius replied darkly.

 _Fucking Pettigrew._ “I swear, you and your friends gossip more than a group of middle school girls.”

“They were just looking out for me.”

Remus snorted. “Looking out for you...?”

“They thought I should know that you’re fucking around behind my back.”

Remus was so caught off guard by the ridiculousness of the statement that he burst out laughing. “Oh no, no, no, honey. That’s _not_ how this is going to go down.” If Sirius wanted to talk about fucking around behind each other’s backs then _they would talk about fucking around behind each other’s backs._

“Sirius, did you or did you not sit me down when we first started dating and tell me you weren’t looking for a relationship?” Yes, after relentlessly pursuing his way right into Remus’ pants, Sirius had not waited even twenty-four hours to make his intentions clear.

Sirius tried to cut in, “Well, just because—”

“Did you or did you not take Evan Rosier to your cousin’s wedding last month?” That one had _hurt._ Remus had known he wasn’t Sirius’ one and only but he _at least_ thought he was number one on the fucking roster.

“You were out of town—”

“Did you or did not you not hook up with Ludo Bagman in Colorado over Christmas Break?” It had not been lost on Remus that while _he_ was working double shifts at Best Buy to send his parents on a cruise to the Bahamas for Christmas, _Sirius_ had been shacked up in his family home in Aspen with the star-quarterback of USC.

And he wasn’t done.

“Did you or did you not hook up with Gilderoy Lockhart in Ravenclaw Library last weekend and get seen by five people?” Remus got to hear about _that_ one from Gilderoy himself, who also volunteered at the student union and was incredibly jealous of Remus and eager to one-up him at any opportunity. It was that very day Remus decided to finally take up Benjy Fenwick’s offer of dinner and a movie.

Sirius at least seemed appropriately abashed. “In my defense—”

Remus didn’t care. “So, no. You’re not going to come into _my_ house in a possessive rage and accuse me of ‘fucking around behind your back.’ As far as I’m concerned, whatever I do with Benjy Fenwick or whoever else is none of your business. If—God forbid—I want to be taken on an actual date once in a while, I will do so _happily_ with zero remorse.” 

Remus was hot and smart and funny and kind. He did _not_ need to play arm candy to the most entitled fuckboy at Hogsmeade University. He reached the front door without even realizing he was moving. “I think you should leave now.”

Sirius seemed like he wanted to offer one last rebuttal but Remus silenced him with another fierce glare. He finally made leave with his tail between his legs but that wasn’t enough for Remus. “Hey!” he called and Sirius turned around swiftly. “By the way,” he drawled, “you forgot to check my shower.” And then he shut the door with a satisfying slam.

* * *

Really, it was all Lily’s fault.

 _They were already in an Uber halfway to Downtown for their first Girls-Plus-Remus-Night-Out of senior year when Lily admitted she needed to make a detour. Remus didn’t ask where_ _because he already knew._

_“I forgot my wallet last night! I swear I’ll just be in and out,” she promised, though her fair skin was tinged red with what Remus knew to be excitement._

_He rolled his eyes and held back a puff._

_James Potter was cool and all but Remus had no interest in sitting in a hot car for thirty minutes while the boy kneeled at Lily’s feet and told her how wonderful she was. (Lily_ was _wonderful but there was a time and place, and tonight was already reserved for tacos and margaritas at Las Fuentes.)_

_“Besides,” Lily added slyly, “Marlene texted me when we left and said she and the girls are running late. We might as well stop and pregame with some free booze, right?”_

_This time, Remus did not bother to hold back his puff of annoyance._

_Lily merely laughed. “You’re so cute when you do that.”_

_They pulled up to James’ house about ten minutes later and Remus let out a short gasp. “_ This _is James’ house?”_

 _He knew James was well-off. Potter hair care products were probably used in every household in America, after all. But still, it amazed him that someone his age could be in possession of a house that looked like it should have its own spread in_ Architectural Digest.

_“We can drink in the gazebo out in the garden,” Lily sing-songed as they reached the cherry wood door._

_“You bitch,” Remus muttered. She was using his obsession with Zillow against him and it wasn’t fair._

_She laughed her beautiful laugh, then tapped out a code onto a little touch screen located beside the doorbell. The thought that Lily very likely might marry James one day and actually live in a house like this suddenly hit Remus. It was a nice thought but one that filled Remus with the awareness that they were one school year away from adulthood. It made his breath catch._

_The door unlocked with a click and Lily led him through a high arched foyer._ _“Evans!” a voice that did not belong to James called from somewhere deeper in the house. “Can you please tell your lap dog that he and I can’t crash your girls dinner? I spent the summer in Acapulco and if I see one more taco I might—oh,” the voice came to a stop as its body appeared before Remus and Lily._

_It was a nice body. Nice and tall and broad-shouldered with a face that was movie-star handsome and black hair that looked perfect for running one’s hands through._

_The mystery man seemed to like what he saw too. He ran his sparkling grey eyes up and down Remus gleefully. “On second thought,” he grinned, “one can never have too many tacos, right?”_

_“Remus,” Lily sighed. “This is my boyfriend’s boyfriend, Sirius Black. Sirius, this is my best friend, Remus Lupin—please stop drooling.”_

In other words, Remus’ heartache was all Lily’s fault and therefore he could not think of one reason why she should be smiling so dopily at him as he recounted the weekend’s events.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he snapped.

“No reason,” Lily chirped.

Remus sighed and returned to the notes scattered across the library table before him.

“So have you heard from him since?” she asked.

“He’s been calling and texting non-stop.”

“When are you going to put him out of his misery?”

Remus narrowed his eyes.

“What?” Lily shrugged. “If you really didn’t want to talk to him you’d block him.”

She had him there.

Like a shark in the water, Lily sensed his weakness and attacked. “I just—I think he’s genuinely sorry for what he said.”

“ _You’re_ the one who’s been telling me to break things off with him since the beginning,” he laughed bitterly, adding, “even though it’s all _your_ fault in the first place.”

Lily ignored the jab. “Look, I know I said that but that was _before…”_

“Before what?”

She got that same dopey look on her face. “Before you put him in his place and showed him what he has to lose.”

Remus groaned. “That’s _so_ cringy, Lily.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Lily sang, bouncing in her seat with excitement, “but he wants to change for you. _Really._ And I can tell he’s not bullshitting. You _know_ I can always tell when someone’s bullshitting.”

Remus couldn’t even comprehend what she was saying. “I,” he started slowly, “have already decided that I need to move on from Sirius.”

You would have thought Remus had just told Lily he was dying for how far her face dropped.

“Just give him a chance,” she pleaded.

“I need to move on,” Remus repeated evenly.

* * *

It was Monday morning and Remus was doing what he did every Monday morning—scrambling around his apartment looking for textbooks and scrounging for food to last him until his dinner break. Just when he realized there was nothing in his kitchen except for a bag of Fritos and some lettuce, a knock came at his door.

Remus groaned. He did _not_ have time to help Next Door Irma fix the brightness level on her tablet nor the patience to listen to Upstairs Snape’s noise complaints. He didn’t even have time to grab a quick bite to eat and he was _starving._ With a huff, he swung the door open, realizing a second too late that it could be Sirius coming to corner him again.

He needn’t have worried though because a man Remus had never met before stood in the doorway with a cup of coffee and a to-go bag.

“Sorry,” Remus said, “I didn’t order anything. I think you have the wrong door.”

“Remus Lupin?” The man asked, checking the receipt. “221B?”

“Uh, yeah but—”

“A friend of yours called in the order. Said it was a surprise!” The man smiled. “All paid for, including tip.”

Remus dazedly thanked the man and brought the haul to his kitchen table to take inventory: large Caffe Mocha, chocolate croissant, and to Remus’ surprise, a cold cut sandwich with chips and a banana.

“You sly fucker,” Remus muttered but couldn’t hold back a grin as he packed the sandwich in his bag for later.

* * *

The next day it rained. Hard.

Remus liked the rain when he was allowed to stay home in sweats and binge watch Lifetime all day; not so much when he had a full schedule of classes directly followed by a closing shift at the bookstore and was supposed to bus it the whole way.

He was outside his apartment building fighting with his umbrella when a neatly-dressed man approached him. “Remus Lupin?”

Taking a startled step back, Remus warily replied, “Can I help you?”

“I work for Hogsmeade Car Service. I’ve been hired by Sirius Black to transport you for the day.”

“I—what?” Remus stuttered.

The man spoke again, smiling pleasantly. “My name’s Jerry and I’m yours until midnight.” Sensing Remus’ hesitance, he added, “I’ve already been paid in full with a very generous tip. Please don’t be shy; this is my job.”

As he and Jerry waited in the McDonald’s drive-through ten minutes later, Remus took a surreptitious picture of the luxury car and sent it to Lily with the message: _Your boy’s good, I’ll give him that._

Quick as a flash, Lily replied: _*YOUR boy!_

Remus didn’t respond but allowed himself to enjoy the gentle pitter-patter of rain against the ceiling.

* * *

It had been a full week since the fight when Remus got home to find an Edible Arrangement waiting for him beside his door. Just as he reached down to check the card, a voice broke through the silence of the hallway, “They’re _all_ chocolate instead of just a few.”

Remus whipped around. Though he was caught off guard at that moment, he had been expecting Sirius to pop up sooner or later. The constant texts as well as the extravagant gifts had only increased, so an in-person visit was right on schedule.

“Remember?” Sirius prodded. He was wearing his leather jacket and holding his bike helmet in his hand, though you’d never guess he actually wore it by the artful tousle of his hair. “When we had one that day at James’ place and you said the only thing that would make it better was if they were _all_ covered in chocolate?”

Remus _did_ remember; he was just surprised that Sirius did too. “Hello, Sirius,” Remus struggled to make his voice sound smooth instead of breathy, “What are you doing here?”

Sirius grinned hopefully. “I wanted to make sure you were getting my gifts. My texts have been unanswered so…”

“So maybe you should’ve taken the hint,” Remus said, turning his back to Sirius to unlock his door. Sirius grabbed the arrangement and followed him inside without invitation.

“No kiss hello?” Sirius joked weakly.

Remus rolled his eyes but otherwise remained impassive.

He already knew he was going to take Sirius back. Yes, it was a bad idea. Yes, it was counterproductive to the boyfriend mission. Yes, it would probably—scratch that— _definitely_ leave him with a broken heart. But he missed Sirius. And what harm would it do to fool around with him before settling down with someone like Benjy? Besides, Remus was a big boy—he could handle the consequences.

Sirius made a reach for one of the chocolate-covered strawberries in the arrangement. Remus swatted him away with the reflexes of a cat. “I thought those were for _me_?” he hissed.

Still, it was only fair to make Sirius suffer for at least a little bit longer.

* * *

“What the fuck?”

“What?” Sirius wondered, leaning in to press a kiss to Remus’ cheek.

“You’re all dressed up,” Remus accused, looking from Sirius’ crisp linen button-down to his own joggers and sweatshirt.

“I said I wanted to take you out!” Sirius laughed and held out a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates.

Remus’ eyes all but bugged out of his head. “What are _those_?”

“Sweets for my sweet,” Sirius replied cheerfully. He pulled Remus in for a full kiss on the mouth, but before he could shove his tongue down Remus’ throat and effectively distract him from the matter at hand, Remus extracted himself. 

“I’m going to change,” he grumbled.

Sirius simply nodded and plopped down on Remus’ couch to wait. When he didn’t utter some variant of “Can I watch?” Remus shuffled away, sniffing at the flowers suspiciously. In the privacy of his bedroom, he took the opportunity to panic.

When Sirius asked him out for the night, Remus had assumed Sirius meant for a bar crawl that would inevitably be cut short by the man’s inability to keep his hands to himself. That was how their nights usually went, after all. But that wasn’t even the strangest part. _Flowers and chocolate?_ Sure, Sirius had lavished Remus with gifts for the past couple weeks but that was only to get out of the dog house. Now that they had made up, what was his aim?

Trying to shake away the feeling that something was certainly amiss, Remus pulled on some decent clothes and returned to the living room. Immediately, Sirius straightened up and patted his thigh. _This_ at least Remus was used to, so he gladly made his way over to settle in Sirius’ lap. Sirius started placing kisses along his neck and Remus tilted his head back to allow him better access. Bringing his lips up to Remus’ ear, Sirius whispered, “Let’s go see a movie.”

_What the actual fuck?_

Feeling Remus freeze, Sirius frowned, “Do you not want to?”

He looked so heartbroken that Remus couldn’t find it in him to say no. “A movie sounds...nice. What do you want to see?”

_Fifteen minutes later:_

“The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore. You’ll love that,” Sirius promised, a little too desperate for the matter at hand. 

“Well...I saw it but I wouldn’t mind watching it again!” 

Sirius dropped his head back with a loud thud and Remus couldn’t help but laugh at the drama of it all. 

They’d been at this for way too long and Remus just wanted the strangeness of the evening to end so he moved to straddle Sirius’ lap. Feeling Sirius _stir_ beneath him, he murmured, “We don’t have to see a movie. We don’t have to _go_ anywhere.”

Sirius seemed to have trouble speaking. “I want to go—”

 _—to the movies._ Remus _knew._ He jumped off Sirius completely and settled into a position on his knees that he knew the man would never say no to. If Sirius wanted to go weird Remus would just have to take the night into his own hands.

Afterward, when they were bare and exhausted in Remus’ bed, Sirius murmured, “You are so fucking _beautiful.”_

Overwhelming affection welled up in Remus’ chest. He laughed nervously, “You are too.”

Sirius curled his arm tighter around Remus’ middle. When Remus began to trace his bicep, Sirius sighed, “I really wanted to have a date night.”

Hesitating only briefly and ignoring the pounding of his heart, Remus quietly offered, “The Cineplex in Woodland Hills is playing _The Goonies_ this Saturday at five if you still want to see a movie…”

The energy in the room shifted in an instant. “ _Yes,”_ Sirius breathed, not sounding at all like his usual suave self. “I’ll pick you up at four. We’ll go to Vincenzo’s after—it’s the best pizza in the Valley. You’ll fucking _love_ it.”

“Yeah,” Remus whispered, “I’m sure I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I post short fics, answer questions, accept prompts, and post headcanons on my Tumblr, @theprongsletthatlived. You can find posts about this story tagged under "FIC: Chocolate Cake" and "FIC: Banana Split." I made a post about Sirius' family in this AU which you don't need to read but will give some interesting context.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

“So she stole that lady’s baby?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah.”

“Why don’t they just go to the police?”

Remus shrugged. “It’s the law of Lifetime.”

“Okay, but why doesn’t the husband notice? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“The law of Lifetime.”

“But what about—”

“Just eat your dinner, sweetie,” Remus said. Sirius slumped against the couch with a pout but Remus didn’t pay him any attention. He didn’t have time to debate the inner workings of the Lifetime writing team when Sirius Orion Black had offered to _help_ _set up furniture._ Truthfully, the boy wasn’t particularly helpful but that wasn’t the point.

Even though it had been a few weeks since the incident, Sirius was still showering Remus with so much attention that he didn’t know what to do with it all. They were together all the time either studying or eating at cool restaurants or lounging around and good-naturedly bickering. Remus wasn’t complaining, but they had entered a weird stage of domesticity that did not at all fit in with his previous perception of their relationship.

Before the incident, their time together revolved around sex, and usually, Remus felt like Sirius’ glorified courtesan. Before, even when Sirius took Remus on “dates” to the bar, Remus knew it was merely a prelude to the main event. He put a lot of thought into the matter and assumed Sirius’ newfound interest was merely a way to monopolize Remus' time and subsequently maintain a claim over his favorite toy. Remus reminded himself often that he needed to get out of this before it went too far, but it was hard when Sirius did things like proudly screwing a cabinet door in backward.

“Is that yarn?” Sirius asked, pulling Remus out of his thoughts.

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” Remus said, eyeing his basket in the corner of the room. “I wanted to take up knitting to help me relax—What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I can’t decide if that’s adorable or embarrassing.”

 _Benjy_ thought it was adorable but Remus figured that was tactless to say, so he smiled serenely and murmured, “Well then I’ll just have to regift the Gryffindor socks I was knitting you.”

Sirius looked like Remus had just offered him a kidney. “You’re making me socks?” he smiled.

“I _was_ making you socks. Now I’m making James socks.”

“If you so much as attempt to give away _my_ socks, I’m going to tie you up with your own yarn, Gertrude.”

It was obviously a joke but the implication made Remus’ breath catch of its own accord. Sirius seemed to notice, as his eyes sparkled extra mischievously. “Does the thought excite you? It’s always the quiet ones.”

“No,” Remus replied dryly, clearing his head of such impure thoughts, “I just like it when you call me Gertrude.” Sirius broke into laughter and they both settled back down to finish their dinner and movie, but it wasn’t long into the night before they both found their eyes straying to the little basket in the corner. 

Yes, these were interesting times indeed.

* * *

The crisp morning air was pleasantly chilly against Remus’ skin when he and Lily stepped out of their pilates studio. As they made their way to Lily’s car, he dabbed at his sweaty forehead with a towel and grunted, “Dorcas really kicked our asses today, didn’t she?”

“I think she just likes to watch you squirm in your little shorts.”

“My legs are one of my best features. I’m not supposed to show them off?” Remus countered, noticing a second too late that Lily had stopped walking. He turned to find her staring at the shorts in question. “See?” he grinned. “You’re enjoying the view. _You’re welcome._ ”

“Remus,” Lily said, “It looks like someone took a baseball bat to your legs!”

Remus’ blood ran cold. He immediately knew she could only be referring to the ugly dark bruises starting at his kneecaps and dotting his shins. He nervously ran his hands through his hair as he failed to think of a reply. Maybe he shouldn’t have worn his little shorts after all.

“Oh my God!” Lily exclaimed, “Your _wrists_ too!”

 _Fuck._ He clasped his hands behind his back and weakly offered, “It was probably from class…”

Slowly, Lily’s face spread into an evil grin. “Remus Lupin, are those sex bruises?”

“No!” He said this too quickly, causing Lily’s grin to deepen. (She was starting to look like her boyfriend and it was terribly unsettling.) He cleared his throat and tried again. “Sirius helped me set up my new furniture from Ikea this weekend. I must have got banged up in the chaos of it all.”

“Yeah, I can tell you got _banged up._ And I’ll bet he’s _really_ good with a drill, huh?”

With a huff, Remus turned on his heel and stomped away. Lily followed, laughing the whole way back to her car. After strapping themselves in, she pulled out of her parking spot and asked, “Do you want to come with me to James’ place to use his sauna? We can steal some of his fancy creams to nurse your sex bruises.”

“James has fancy creams?”

“He has so many that when I found them I thought he was cheating on me with an Instagram model. The truth is he has eczema and starts flaking when it gets cold—it’s a whole story. Anyway, you in?”

“Can’t. I’m meeting Benjy for lunch.”

Lily gasped, scandalized.

Remus groaned. “Stop making that face.”

“I thought things were good with you and Sirius?”

“They are!” Remus replied. “I’m still allowed to see other people. I know Sirius is.”

“No,” Lily scoffed, “he’s _not_.”

The shitty thing was that Remus was pretty sure this was true. Still, he ignored the guilt twisting around in his belly to say, “Well it’s only a matter of time before things fizzle out.”

Lily scoffed again. “Remus. _Darling_. You still have rope burns around your wrists from your latest weekend of debauchery. I don’t think anything’s fizzling out any time soon.”

Remus tried and failed to think of a counter-argument. He eventually settled on saying, “We didn’t use rope,” through a frown.

Lily snorted but didn’t bring up the matter again until they pulled up to Remus’ apartment building. After Remus stepped out of the car, Lily leaned over the seat to ask through the open passenger’s side window, “So was it good? With your not-ropes I mean?”

Remus couldn’t repress a grin. “Like you wouldn’t _believe._ ”

“Well,” Lily said slowly, “maybe you can think about that when you’re on your date with Benjy.” With one last smirk at Remus’ slack-jawed expression, she drove off without another word.

* * *

Remus did think about Sirius while he was on his date with Benjy. A lot. So much that Benjy was ten minutes into what was surely a very interesting story and Remus couldn’t repeat a thing he’d said. All his brain allowed him was to do was blink at Benjy guiltily while pulling his shirtsleeves down all the way to his fingers.

“So when I read that the judge had given temporary custody to the mother when it was actually _she_ who had been arrested for domestic assault against the father, naturally I had to step in. I mean the courts were showing obvious bias against the father despite the evidence that the child was inarguably safer in his care. Somebody had to...”

Remus’ mind trailed off once again. Why should he feel so bad though? Did Sirius feel bad while plowing through his harem? No, certainly not. So Remus was going to stop wasting a perfectly good date thinking about—

A thundering bark pulled Remus out of his thoughts. He and Benjy both turned to see what kind of creature had released such a howl, and nothing other than a black monster of a dog strutted along on a leash held by a petite brunette. The pair happened to sit at the table right next to Remus and Benjy, and the dog seemed to greet them with a friendly yelp.

_Fuck me._

It was Padfoot. Padfoot: Sirius’ childhood dog whose very memory brought tears to the man’s grey eyes. Padfoot was more of a friend than a dog to hear Sirius talk about him, never afraid of a spot of danger like nipping at Bellatrix Black’s toes at the lakehouse or slurping down a whole bowl of Ivanka Lestrange’s knock-out Fourth of July punch. What were the odds that Remus would run into the reincarnate of Sirius’ most prized childhood pet at the very moment he was swearing not to think about him? It had to be a sign. Of what, Remus didn’t know. But a sign nevertheless.

Benjy, always friendly, let out a loud coo. “Aren’t you a handsome boy?”

The Padfoot reincarnate barked in agreement.

The petite brunette removed her sunglasses to reveal a pair of pretty blue eyes. They seemed to twinkle at Benjy as she said, “He likes you.”

“What’s his name?” Benjy asked.

“Paddington,” she replied with a toothy grin.

“Do you mind if I take a picture?” Remus blurted, almost breathlessly.

“Go ahead! Paddington loves to be photographed.”

And before he could talk himself out of it, Remus snapped a picture and sent it to Sirius with the message: _Reminded me of you._

Almost instantly, Remus’ phone pinged out a response: **Pack a bag.**

Remus’ heart fluttered. He replied: _???_

**I’m taking you to Godric’s Hollow for the weekend.**

A statement. Not a question. And Remus _loved_ it. But still, he had to play at least a little hard to get. Sending a quick glance up at Benjy, who was still engaged in deep conversation with Paddington’s owner, Remus texted back: _I have a million things to do this weekend_

**I’ll be at your place in an hour.**

“Well _fuck,_ ” Remus said, accidentally out loud.

Benjy and Paddington’s owner looked at Remus’ questioningly.

“Um,” Remus mumbled, gathering up his trash to avoid their eyes, “I forgot one of my textbooks at home. I need to run and get it before class. I’ll talk to your later Ben?”

“Oh, okay,” Benjy said, looking disappointed.

Remus wished he could have offered some reassurance that he was genuinely looking forward to another date but it would have been a lie, and Remus didn’t think that was particularly fair. He did, however, allow Benjy to lean in and give him a dry kiss on the cheek. With one last wave to Snuffles, Remus scattered away and pulled out his phone to order an uber; he wanted to get home to pack as soon as possible.

Despite his guilt, Remus knew he was making the right decision.

\---

A sleek black Range Rover pulled into Remus’ parking lot an hour later on the dot. Remus’ heart stuttered in the best way as he tossed his duffle bag in the back and settled into his seat. It was all of ten seconds before Sirius’ mouth was on him.

“You’re crazy,” Remus eventually breathed out.

“Yeah,” Sirius smirked, “but I got what I wanted, didn’t I?”

For the past few weeks, Lily had incessantly teased Remus about how whipped Sirius was for him. Truthfully, Remus was the one who was putty in Sirius’ expert hands. He grabbed Sirius by the shirt and pulled him in for another kiss. As Sirius used his tongue to explore Remus’ mouth, Remus ran his fingers through Sirius’ soft hair.

When they finally pulled away, Sirius took one of Remus’ hands to inspect his wrist. He placed a soft kiss on the bruise. “I’m sorry.”

Remus snorted. “No, you’re not.”

“No, I’m not and I’ll do it again.”

Remus laughed and Sirius leaned in to place one last kiss on his cheek, leaving behind a tingling warmth that spread through Remus until it settled in his heart. They finally pulled out of the parking lot and Sirius rested a hand on Remus’ thigh where it more or less remained for the rest of their car ride. Not for the first time, Remus thought that he would probably do anything to keep this feeling for as long as possible.

* * *

Godric’s Hollow was a beach town about two hours north of Hogsmeade. Known for its white sand, clear water, and beautiful Mexican architecture, it was a popular travel destination for both tourists and those lucky enough to afford multi-million dollar houses on the hill.

Remus had visited a few times with friends and expected this trip to go similarly: bar hop across town alongside local UGH students, inhale some fish tacos, blackout right before dawn. He was not prepared for Sirius to pull up to a massive gate upon arrival that led them to an absolutely opulent villa which was apparently one of Orion and Walburga Black’s numerous vacation homes. Furthermore, Remus could never have guessed that Sirius would insist upon staying in for the night, an adventure which would include Sirius grilling steaks and baking surprisingly good brownies from scratch.

If Remus hadn’t woken up tangled in 100% Egyptian Cotton, he might have assumed he’d dreamt the whole thing.

Yawning, he twisted around until he faced Sirius, who was sitting at the edge of the bed tying his sneakers. Sirius smiled down at him. “Good morning, sunshine.”

“Morning,” Remus grunted back. He was not a morning person.

“I’m going to go pick up breakfast—” Sirius was interrupted by loud banging on the front door. After a few seconds, the sound of the door crashing open echoed throughout the house.

“That’s not the people who actually own this house, is it?” Remus joked weakly, disorientedly wondering if this was a home invasion. If it was, they’d both be goners. As much as Sirius looked like he could headline some international spy thriller, Remus was sure the similarities began and ended with the cocky smirk. How could Remus subtly get it across to the robbers that he was just mooching off his wealthy not-boyfriend and had negative thirty thousand dollars to his name?

Sirius stormed out of the room and Remus jumped to his feet. Hastily, he pulled on his clothes and followed. He made it to the staircase just in time to hear someone shout, “ _Sirius!”_

In the foyer stood a boy who looked remarkably like Sirius, if not a little less strikingly handsome. Remus guessed he had to be Sirius’ younger brother, the infamous Regulus Black, who was a seventeen-year-old aspiring filmmaker and overall pain in Sirius’ side.

“You broke the lock, you nitwit,” Sirius said.

“Well, you wouldn’t open the door.”

“And you didn’t take the hint that you weren’t wanted? What more could I have done to get the point across? Hung a crucifix?”

“Hey, this is as much my house as it is—” As Regulus’ eyes landed on Remus for the first time, he abruptly dropped his words mid-sentence. “Who are you?” he asked bluntly. “Sirius, who is he?”

“Somebody else who doesn’t want to see you.”

Regulus ignored Sirius and strode over to stick out a hand. Remus hesitantly shook it and offered, “Hi, Remus Lupin.”

“Hello, Remus Lupin. Have ever thought about acting? You have star power. I can feel it. We’d have to get rid of that ridiculous name but you’ll get used to it.”

Remus choked on his own spit. 

Sirius grabbed him by the elbow and led him back to the staircase, gently muttering, “Go back to bed, baby. And please, do me a favor? Pretend like this was a dream and never bring it up again.” With a snort, Remus turned and made his way back up to the bedroom. He, however, left the door open a crack so he could continue to listen to their conversation. 

Sirius said, “Now, what the fuck are you even doing here? Where are Mom and Dad?”

“They’re in New York—”

“So they don’t know you’re here. How’d you get Kreacher to let you come?”

_Creature? The fuck?_

“He knows this is important. _He_ believes in me,” Regulus took a breath. “There’s this contest for high school filmmakers. Winner gets to premiere their short at the Triwizard Film Festival, Sirius. _Triwizard.”_

_Is that what rich people call their servants?_

“That’s fine and dandy but you can’t stay. I, unlike you, am allowed to be here and I have a date. You need to leave.”

 _Did Creature live chained in the basement or something? Did he need to_ —

“No offense, Sirius. But if you’re going to dump him anyway, you might as well do it now and help your baby brother film a masterpiece.”

“I’m not going to _dump him,_ ” Sirius growled, making Remus’ heart soar to the moon and back. (Creature was officially on his own.) “I’m trying to _impress him!_ But I can’t do that if my braindead baby brother is sniffing around him like a casting couch pervert!”

“This is my big break!” Regulus’ voice wavered with genuine anguish. “This is my best shot at showing everybody that I have a real shot at this thing—that I’m not stupid for not going to college next year. And my whole crew is already on their way. I’m the director, do you know how embarrassing it would be to cancel right now?”

Even Remus felt the pain in the kid’s voice. Sirius must have too because he let out a loud groan, remained silent for a few tense seconds, then said, “Okay. Here’s what—I’m taking Remus on the boat at noon. You can film from then until 9:00 on the dot. If I come back at 9:01 and you’re still here, I’m reporting a burglary. If this place is less than spotless, I’m reporting to Mom and Dad. And so help me God, if you don’t win first place after all this, I’m going to report a _murder_.”

“ _Thank you, Sirius!”_ Regulus exclaimed. Remus couldn’t be certain but he was pretty sure they were hugging. The Benevolent Big Brother was a side of Sirius Remus didn’t know existed. Something about Sirius’ begrudging leniency and terse affection made Remus want to take all his clothes off. But before he could, Regulus spoke again. “One last thing…”

“What more could you possibly want?” Sirius sighed.

“Nothing. It’s just...you really like this guy? Remus?”

Sirius was quiet for _way_ too long. Remus’ heart started beating so fast he thought he might be going into cardiac arrest. He was thinking this was probably the absolute worst way to die (home invasions included) when finally, Sirius muttered, “More than you can even imagine.”

Remus stepped away from the door then. Dazed, he dropped bonelessly onto the bed. It was _real._ Everything Lily had claimed, everything he had sensed but pushed to the back of his mind to avoid getting his hopes up, was _real._ He had managed to do the impossible. For reasons he couldn’t wrap his head around, Bookish Remus Lupin had carved himself a snug little corner of the Great Sirius’ Black’s world.

He was still reeling when Sirius returned to the bedroom a few minutes later. “Okay, the little punk’s gone for the time being—”

Without thinking, Remus threw himself into Sirius’ arms. Though Remus must have caught him off guard, Sirius used his superior reflexes to maneuver Remus back onto the bed, where Remus refused to release the kiss until both boys were almost blue in the face.

“Thank you for that,” Sirius huffed when they separated.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” Remus replied, equally breathless.

“Thank you for coming,” Sirius returned, leaning in to plant a final kiss on Remus’ neck before rising to his feet. “As much as I would like to keep you in this position for all of eternity, I _do_ have a plan for today. I told the pest he could come back at noon, so we want to be out of here by 11:30 at the latest to be safe.”

Still lightheaded, Remus said, “I like him. He’s cute.”

“Don’t let the little twerp hear you say that. We’ll come back to find him going through your underwear.”

“I didn’t pack any underwear,” Remus said honestly. (There was no point with Sirius around.)

Sirius groaned. “You, Remus Lupin, are going to be the _death_ of me.”

_Funny. I feel the same way._

When Sirius was gone, Remus immediately went to his phone, which had been shut away in one of the nightstands sometime last night. He quickly tapped out a text, which was returned almost instantly. Fingers only slightly shaking, Remus dialed.

“Hey, Remus,” Benjy answered brightly. “What do I owe this pleasure?”

“ _Hey_ ,” Remus drew out. “I just, um, I feel like we need to talk.”

There was a long silence before Benjy lightly said, “So I have to ask the question...”

Remus took a deep breath. “Go ahead.”

“Sirius Black?”

With a sigh, not of remorse but of relief, Remus muttered, “Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my birthday today so please excuse any typos/errors.

_“Has anyone ever told you your eyes look like melted chocolate?” asked Sirius Black, who had angled his chair so close to Remus’ that Remus could feel his body heat._

_“Many people,” Remus answered honestly. After taking a sip of his margarita, he added, “Guys really like to compare me to food for some reason.”_

_“Probably because you look good enough to eat,” Sirius offered with a devilish grin._

_“Yeah,” Remus sighed mournfully, “They tell me that too.”_

_“James?” Lily said with sour eyes fixed on Sirius. “Can you put your dog on a leash?”_

_“Come on Lily,” Marlene McKinnon giggled from across the table, “Remus doesn’t seem to mind—look at those dimples!”_

_Sirius beamed and scooted his chair impossibly closer._

_Remus rolled his eyes. “I just wanted to see how many drinks I can get him to buy me before he gives up.”_

_“For you, Buttercup, I’d buy the whole bar.”_

_“I’ve heard that one too!” Remus exclaimed._

_Sirius snorted, then eagerly leaned forward in his seat. “How about this—I bet you I can kiss those pretty lips without even touching you. If I lose, I’ll buy_ everyone _another drink.”_

_“That doesn’t even make sense,” Remus laughed._

_“Then you have nothing to lose.”_

_“Yeah, Remus,” Dorcas Meadowes cut in. “Let the man buy me a drink.”_

_“Okay, fine. I accept—“_

_And then Sirius’ lips were on his. Hungry. In control but surprisingly pliant. The kiss made Remus’ head dizzy but his instincts took over. He met Sirius’ lips with equal vigor, letting out a soft moan when Sirius used a strong hand to slip the slightest bit up Remus’ shorts and squeeze his thigh. It was only when the catcalls from around the table grew too obnoxious to ignore that Remus gently extracted himself from Sirius’ grasp, taking a heavy pause to stare into the boy’s sparkling grey eyes._

_“I lose,” Sirius grinned, “Next round’s on me.”_

\---

Remus cleared his throat, then said, “I’m _so_ hungry,” because he and Sirius had already gone as far as they could on the topic of weather.

“Yeah,” Sirius grumbled in return. 

Remus wasn’t trying to be ungrateful but this was not the Valentine’s Day he had been looking forward to all week. Although the restaurant was nice with its romantic lighting and impeccable food, the charming Sirius Black whom Remus had grown accustomed to was nowhere to be found. The strange creature inhabiting his body was terse, and to be frank, acted like he’d rather be anywhere than with Remus. Remus had been planning on gifting Sirius a key to his apartment that night as a sign of commitment but he couldn’t help but second guess himself. 

Still, he tried again, “So did Regulus win that competition?”

“He came in dead last,” Sirius said with his head bent down over the menu.

“Wow.”

“The judge told him he was an insult to film.”

“Poor kid.”

“Don’t feel too bad, my Dad made some calls and got the guy fired. Do you think the soup’s good here?”

“...The soup?”

“The minestrone.”

Remus let out a slow exhale. “I think it’s hard to mess up minestrone. You’re probably safe.”

Sirius shook his head regretfully, eyes still fiercely trained on the menu as if it would be ripped out of his hands at any moment. “Maybe the tomato basil…”

With a sigh, Remus perused his menu. “I’m _starving.”_

“Yeah.”

It was only a few more moments when, at last, a savior appeared. “Hi! I’m Barty and I’ll be your server tonight. Can I get you guys started on some drinks?”

“Hi!” Remus felt himself bounce in excitement. “I’ll have a Bellini with—”

“ _You.”_

It really wasn’t fair that the night had been allowed to progress as it did.

As it turned out, Barty the waiter was one of Sirius’ ex-lovers. A bitter one, if the man’s vicious glare and Sirius’ desperate attempts to leave were any indications. It might have been funny if the night hadn’t already been such a disappointment. Remus didn’t even have time to feel _jealous_ , what with Sirius’ muteness and Barty’s passive-aggressive professionalism. If it weren’t for the Bellinis and lobster ravioli, Remus might have sacrificed himself to the live lobster tank in the corner.

“See?” he smiled, feeling happy that they could finally go home and maybe save the night by doing what they did best. “He didn’t slip poison into our food.”

“That we know—” And then Sirius stopped mid-sentence, his face twisting with anger.

“Are you okay?”

“I—” was all Sirius stuttered out.

Worry mixed with the Bellinis in Remus’ belly. “Sirius?” he tried again.

“Are you sure you didn’t taste anything weird?” Sirius demanded. “...Or feel something weird?”

“No, did you? Are you coming down with something? You seem...off.”

Through clenched teeth, Sirius forced out, “Actually, I _am_ feeling a bit off tonight. I’m just going to go to the restroom—I’ll be right back.” Within seconds he was out of his seat and storming out of sight. Remus contemplated going after him but then figured if Sirius was sick he might want some privacy. So, he waited...

...and waited.

It was a solid twenty minutes of waiting later when the nerves in the pit of Remus’ stomach told him to go check on Sirius. Warily, he made his way through the restaurant and to the restrooms. “Sirius?” he called. He needn’t have though; the restroom was so small that its emptiness was immediately apparent with a glance.

Befuddled, Remus almost ran into someone when he exited into the hallway. The man, a waiter, sent Remus an apologetic smile before barking at another server at his heels. “Ryan! Where the hell is Crouch?”

Remus’ ears perked up at the mention. Come to think of it, he hadn’t seen Barty in all the time he was waiting; he had just been too busy worrying about Sirius to notice.

“Barty’s on break!” The other server replied. “But that was twenty minutes ago so…”

The rest of their conversation faded away as the pair moved along, leaving Remus frozen in place, trying to put all the horrible clues together. 1) Sirius had been miserable all night, avoiding eye contact, rebuffing all attempts at conversation. 2) Barty and Sirius had slept together in the past and had obvious unresolved tension. 3) Barty had started his break exactly when Sirius disappeared and now neither were anywhere to be seen.

With shaking hands, Remus pulled out his phone and dialed Sirius’ number. _You have reached the voicemail box of_ —

Barty was attractive if you liked bright blue eyes and good bone structure.

Remus tried calling again. _You have reached the voicemail box of_ —

But would Sirius do this to him? On Valentine’s Day?

\---

_“Remus,” Lily hissed. “Just listen to me for a second. Please.”_

_Remus rolled his eyes. “You just hate him, Lily.”_

_“That’s the thing—I_ don’t _hate him. I just know that he’s a player and I’ve seen him use people and—”_

_“Lily,” Remus interrupted, “It’s not like I’m in love with the guy or anything. I’m not stupid. But we’re having fun together and I like him and he told me he wants to see me tonight. Is that really a problem?”_

_“Okay, I get what you’re saying,” Lily said, “I do. It’s just that I can see you’re getting emotionally invested in this and I don’t want him to…” her voice trailed off as she looked just beyond Remus’ head. Remus turned to see what had caught her attention._

_It was that moment that Sirius entered the bar, tall and handsome in well-fitting jeans and a short-sleeved button-down that perfectly showcased his strong arms. Butterflies flew around Remus’ stomach and he sat up straighter, waiting for Sirius’ stormy eyes to zero in on him like they usually did._

_The moment didn’t come, however. Sirius stopped short and turned back to the door. A half-second later, a sinewy blonde appeared. Remus watched as Sirius offered his signature smirk and then a hand, which the other man took with a wink. Sirius leaned in to whisper something in the man’s ear, causing him to throw his head back in a flirty laugh._

_The butterflies sunk to their death and embarrassment took their place. Remus could practically feel Lily’s pitying gaze. “He must have forgotten,” he murmured, turning away from the spectacle. “I…”_

_Lily interlaced her soft hands with Remus’. “I’m not going to acknowledge him anymore tonight because he doesn’t deserve our attention,” she started, “but let it be known that you can do ten times better than Sirius Black.”_

_“Yeah,” Remus agreed weakly, not quite believing it._

_\---_

Yes, Remus thought as he called a random waiter’s attention to settle the check. Hooking up with someone else on Valentine’s Day was exactly something Sirius Black would do.

* * *

Remus was waiting on his couch when the knock came. He didn’t want to answer but he knew he needed to end this charade once and for all. Mustering up what was left of his dignity, he straightened his shoulders and opened the door.

Sirius looked haphazard. (Remus could only guess _why.)_ “Remus,” he murmured.

But before he could get another word out, Remus stepped aside and said, “We need to talk.”

“I know what this looks like but I—”

“I don’t really want to hear this, Sirius,” Remus interrupted. He would not allow Sirius to string together some pretty words and manipulate his way out of this one too. “Just come inside.”

“Nothing happened,” Sirius had the nerve to say.

“Sirius,” Remus deadpanned, “you disappeared for twenty minutes with our waiter who you obviously have history with. I know you weren’t in the bathroom because I checked. I’m not stupid.”

“I _promise_ I would not do that to you,” Sirius lied, “I—”

Remus wanted to laugh. “Wouldn’t you?” He took pleasure in the fact that Sirius flinched at the words.

Sirius quickly composed himself, however. “No,” he growled. “ _Never.”_

_The fucking gall!_

“You…” Remus shut his eyes against an oncoming wave of emotion, “You have been seeing other people since we started dating, Sirius. You don’t even try to hide it. And yes, I knew what I was getting into and people warned me about the kind of guy you are but you were so charming and persistent so I pretended—”

The truth was Remus was only human. How could he not be swayed by someone so handsome and clever and rich? How could he not feel a touch of superiority that Sirius Rebel Without a Cause Black had taken an interest in him? How could he not pretend, in his innermost thoughts, that this was his very own fairytale?

“But then you got so jealous and started doting on me so I thought…” Remus groaned, thinking of how Sirius spoiled him. How he positively melted under the heat of Sirius’ gaze. “I don’t like these games. I don’t like the way you mess with my head. I—I don’t want to see you anymore.”

The truth was Remus Lupin was in love with Sirius Black and that was exactly why he needed to let him go.

Sirius remained quiet for a long time. Remus was just about to tell him to leave once and for all when Sirius blurted, “I’ve never taken anyone out on Valentine’s Day before.”

 _This fucker._ “So?” Remus prompted exasperatedly.

Something behind Sirius’ eyes flickered dangerously. “I’ve never barged into anyone’s apartment in a jealous rage before,” he said firmly as if it made any difference.

“Okay—” Remus tried to cut in but Sirius was on a roll.

“I’ve never carried someone’s books around Flourish and Blotts for two hours while they perused the entirety of the fiction section before.”

\---

_“The Black Hand?” Sirius asked quizzically._

_Remus shrugged. “It’s about the Mexican Mafia.”_

_“Light reading, then,” Sirius smiled._

_With a short laugh, Remus lightly grabbed the edge of Sirius’ leather jacket and tugged him out of the aisle. He couldn’t grab either of Sirius’ hands because both were full of books, aka the fruits of Remus’ hours worth of browsing. He hadn’t intended to use Sirius as a personal pack mule on his weekly Flourish and Blotts trip (nor had he thought that was even an option) but Sirius had insisted. The poor thing didn’t realize what he was in for but took the day like a champ, not asking Remus if he was almost done even once._

_Sirius tried to head towards the cash register but Remus instead guided him to the back of the store where there were several round study tables. He quickly began to unload Sirius’ arms, already separating the books into piles._

_“I thought you were done?” Sirius asked with unmistakable panic in his eyes._

_“I am,” Remus chuckled, reaching out to fix Sirius’ jacket collar. “But I can’t buy_ all _of these, so I need to go through and pick my favorites.”_

_“Oh,” Sirius said, then gathered all the books in his arms once more before marching back towards the register._

_“What are you_ — _”_

 _“Remus,” Sirius snorted, not bothering to slow his stride, “when you’re with me, you’re going to get_ everything _you want.”_

\---

Remus shook the memory from his head. “Sirius—”

“I’ve never woken up at six in the morning to drive someone to their seven o’clock shift before,” Sirius continued fiercely. He seemed to grow more assured with every word. “I’ve never stayed in on a Saturday night to marathon Lifetime movies before. I’ve never built someone’s Ikea furniture before. I’ve never laid in bed with someone for hours talking about nothing before.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve _never_ met a boy like you before.”

Remus felt like he was going to stop breathing. As the happy memories flooded his head, all he could think to say was, “That sounds like a lie.”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

Had he? Even when he’d been horrible, he’d never _lied._ “No,” Remus admitted, “but…”

Sirius was closer now. Close enough to touch. “Can I please tell you what really happened tonight?” he asked softly.

It occurred to Remus that Sirius did not need to lie to him. He was the kind of guy who could have anyone he wanted and he didn’t need to play games to do it. If Remus thought about it rationally, it didn’t make sense that Sirius would put so much effort into a relationship only to ruin it for a fumble in some storage room.

And Remus didn’t want to be made a fool but he would be lying to himself if he said the past few weeks with Sirius hadn’t felt _real_. That the electrifying connection they shared the night they met hadn’t intensified. That he hadn’t been offered a side to Sirius that was vulnerable and almost overwhelmingly affectionate. For that reason and that reason alone, Remus nodded his head yes.

“In case you didn’t know,” Sirius began slowly, squaring his shoulders, “I have not always been the nicest person.”

That was an understatement but Remus decided not to interject. He’d let Sirius sink or swim all on his own.

“Way back in the day I hooked up with Barty Cou— _Crouch_ ,”Sirius explained. “And I heard a rumor about him _—_ a _nasty_ rumor about him hooking up with one too many people _._ So, being the wee, brainless little Freshman I was, I made up a nickname because I thought it was funny...”

 _Crouch the Couch._ No wonder he hated Sirius.

“...and it _was_ funny,” Sirius muttered under his breath before continuing, “But _so, so_ mean. Thus, when we ran into Barty tonight, he was rightfully upset. He was so upset that he...hid the ring I bought you.”

Remus’ eyes bugged halfway out of their sockets.

“Not an engagement ring!” Sirius stammered. “Just a...nice ring for Valentine’s Day that I asked the restaurant to hide in your dessert. Anyway, Barty was so upset that he hid the ring until I apologized to him. So, that’s where I was. I was apologizing for being an absolute idiot, which he very much deserved. I’m sorry I didn’t just outright tell you that. I didn’t want you to think any worse of my character than you probably already do,” Sirius frowned. “And I wanted tonight to be special and I was so nervous because you’re precious to me…” 

With a deep breath, Sirius stopped, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small velvet box. He opened it to reveal a gorgeous glittering moonstone. It was _perfect_.

“It’s not an engagement ring?” Remus double-checked.

“No,” Sirius laughed, “it’s a promise.”

“Oh?” Remus smiled at the ring.

“It’s a promise that as long as you wear it, I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine.”

Remus’ heart felt heavy but in the best way possible. Like it was so full of happiness that it might burst. “That sounds like a mighty task.”

“Actually,” Sirius murmured, “I think it’s the easiest thing I’ll ever do.”

Remus slid the ring on his middle finger and, like Cinderella’s slipper, it was a perfect fit. Maybe this could be Remus’ very own fairytale after all.

Excitement resurrected in his stomach. “I have a couple presents for you too,” he said slyly. “Why don’t we start with the fun one?” He’d have all the time in the world to give Sirius the key.

To Sirius’ look of pure eagerness, Remus moved to his refrigerator to collect the man’s second gift: chocolate syrup and whipped cream. In other words, a well-deserved treat for _both_ of them. Leading Sirius to his bedroom, he smirked, “I’m _craving_ a banana split right now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was simultaneously easy and hard to write. It was easy because it basically followed Chocolate Cake from start to finish, but it was hard because I struggled to add new content to make it fresh and interesting. Either way, I hope you enjoyed it! I really want to write a short epilogue to just finish this story off once and for all, but no promises when that will come.
> 
> Thank you all for reading!
> 
> PS: You can find more of my writing/ask me questions on my Tumblr, @theprongsletthatlived.
> 
> (Also, I stole that “bet” idea in the very first scene from Reddit.)


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